People Who Seek For Revenge

Why do people seek for vengeance? Why they don’t just forgive people who have sinned against them?

First of all, what is revenge? What does it mean? According to the freedictionary, revenge is to inflict punishment in return (injury or insult) and/or to seek or take vengeance for (oneself of another person).

When someone does something that hurts us, we developed this war-like vengeful mentality. Yes, some of us act so vengeful when bitter and that's just very unfortunate because it's one of the ugliest traits. So, when I was browsing the internet, I saw this article entitled, “Revenge and the people who seek it” by Michael Price.

"As psychologists explore the mental machinery behind revenge, it turns out both can be, depending on who and where you are. If you're a power-seeker, revenge can serve to remind others you're not to be trifled with. If you live in a society where the rule of law is weak, revenge provides a way to keep order. Revenge comes at a price. Instead of helping you move on with your life, it can leave you dwelling on the situation remaining unhappy."

According to a social psychologist Ian McKee, PhD from Adeilaide University in Australia, people often seek revenge instead of letting go the issue. He also published a paper in Social Justice in Research that there are two social attitudes in connection with vengeful tendencies; the right wing authoritarianism and social dominance, and motivational values.

"People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status," he says. "They don't want to lose face."

However, revenge researcher Michele Gelfand, PhD, a psychology professor from University of Maryland says that there's also cultural dimension to people's prediction for revenge. Along with her collaborators, they found out that revenge can be triggered by different events or cultures. For americans, they feel bad when their rights are being violated while for koreans, the feel more offended when their obligation is being threatened. It only shows that americans more likely to seek for vengeance when they're not able to express their rights or voice out their opinions while koreans be more likely to trigger their revenge feelings when someone embarrass or humiliates them.

In Gelfand’s studies, the emotions that trigger people for revenge may differ from cultures. She found out that in individualistic cultures, people carry a vengeful feeling usually because of anger, whereas collectivists ones are for shame powers revenge.

People seek for revenge because of humiliation, embarrassment and shame. They want nothing but justice. They remain unhappy because they're still attached to their past and cannot manage to move on. But you know what, it’s hard to keep burning the fire of revenge inside us; it damages our heart, mind and body. We must learn to forgive people or might as well give them another chance to make things right. It comforts the soul and give peace to our hearts when we realize to forgive and just forget. Still, the best revenge is just moving on and getting over it. Don't give someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer.